Not The F1 News: Spa Appeal

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Saturday 20th September 2008

Bookmakers have been speculating about the chances of getting his six points back, plus Max takes a tough line on KERS and Bill Gates reveals new FIA stewarding software.

BOOKIES SPECULATE ON LEWIS APPEAL
With speculation mounting ahead of Lewis Hamilton's FIA appeal in Paris this week, leading bookmakers have started offering odds for a successful outcome. The McLaren driver had 25 seconds added to his winning time at the Belgian GP despite stewards failing to notify race control that he was under investigation during the race. McLaren are hoping that the FIA will reverse the post-race decision.

Punters looking for an interesting and unusual bet can also bet on:
The likelihood Richard Branson will shave his beard off - 10 to 1.
The chances of John McCain being elected, then handing over to Sarah Palin as President - 500 to 1
Finding Life on Mars - 10,000 to 1
The chance of Lewis Hamilton getting his six points back - 100,000,000 to1*

*and even Lehman Brothers didn't think this one was worth a punt.

TAKING KERS TO THE MAX
Several drivers have voiced their concerns in the ongoing safety row over the installation of the new KERSystems. The BMW team were obliged to set up a major investigation after one of their mechanics was painfully electrocuted during testing of the new device. However FIA boss Max Mosley has stepped in and said that it is vital F1 pushes ahead with the new energy-saving technology. In fact Max has personally volunteered to test all new devices, along with a group of friends at a private address. Starting with the BMW.

SINGAPORE RIP-OFF
Though the McLaren team have claimed they are "better prepared" for F1's first night race in Singapore than any other team in the pitlane, a McLaren insider has said they have made a fundamental error which Ron Dennis won't admit to. Every time Lewis rips a tear-off from his visor the night vision goggles go with them.

VETTEL'S HISTORY RE-WRITE
Sebsatian Vettel is celebrating re-writing the history books by becoming the youngest polesitter in F1 and the youngest grand prix winner. Now, with his move to the Red Bull team for 2009 and 2010 it is almost certain that the record for the youngest F1 World Champion will remain with Fernando Alonso.

STEWARDS TO GET SOFTWARE BACK-UP
Bill Gates has offered his help to the FIA by producing new software that will simplify and speed up the penalty process. Microsoft Steward Assistant will be very much like Microsoft Word Assistant, the "funny little paper clip" that helps format documents. All the stewards need to do is type in such key words as Car 21, Car 22, Kovalainen, Hamilton, McLaren, Heikki or Lewis and Microsoft Steward Assistant will come up with a range of penalties from a 10,000 Euro fine to life imprisonment that can be awarded for various offences on the track.

Max Mosley's F1 representative Allan Donnelly, who gets himself involved in all controversial decisions, has welcomed the software as being a great addition to the sport. As long as he gets to operate it.

GLOCK APPOINTS BLUNDELL
...and finally Toyota's Timo Glock has announced that he has taken on ITV's Mark Blundell as his new press spokesman. Inspired by Blundell's don't-be-afraid-to-state-the-bleedin'-obvious punditry on ITV Glock came up with his first Blundellism for the Singapore GP preview: "...as it is a night race I don't expect it will be like daylight in every corner."

Diamond.

Your Comments

inkymaame

"Lewis was penalised 25 seconds for gaining an unfair advantage over Kimi Raikkonen.I agree that the FIA sees red when it comes to dealing with racers gaining an unfair advantage on track. But why did the FIA give a voluntary mammoth advantage to a driver who wasn't even there when this happened.Massa was way behind & struggling to keep his Ferrari from spinning out of the race.Now here is a situation wherein the FIA penalises Lewis for presumably gaining an advantage on track over Kimi & then carries forward the same advantage off track & gives it to Massa,after 2 long hours.Fantastic! What a way to reward the undeserving. The rule books only state that if the driver who gained the unfair advantage relinquises the position immediately, then he is out of fault. But what happened at Spa was a deliberate & perverted attempt at interpreting and contravening the very spirit of the rule to suit an undeserving driver and team. Is there someone out there who can tell me who really gained an advantage? Even a child can tell who won but only the perverted minds of the FIA officials would deliberately blind itself to the obvious."

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